Chuck Versus the News 3x03
by ya-fic
Summary: The News Ring Network has it all: attractive anchors, captivating stories, and a hidden agenda to capture the Intersect. When Sarah goes out on "personal business," she unknowingly leaves Chuck vulnerable to the network's subliminal beacon.
1. Teaser

**Episode 3x03: Chuck Versus the News  
by Estee**

**Reboot Universe Note: **You are not just reading a random story written in episode format. To fully appreciate this story, you should go back and read the following:  
Episode 3x01: Chuck Versus the Reboot (.net/s/5059735/1/Chuck_Versus_the_Reboot)  
Episode 3x02: Chuck Versus the PDA (.net/s/5163195/1/Chuck_Versus_the_PDA)

**Author's Thanks:** First and foremost, special thanks to spectacular failure (.net/u/1935649/spectacular_failure) for going above and beyond the call of duty. He was the beta reader for this story, but it would be more fitting to call him "story editor" due to all the time and thought he put into helping make this story better. I highly recommend checking out his own season three episodes here at (Chuck Versus the Ringmaster and Chuck Versus the Plot). He is Awesome.

**Bonus Features: **If you've read Chuck Versus the PDA, you may recall a series of memory flashes that involved Chuck's past Sarah experiences. Kacey has been kind enough to create video versions of those flashes plus one additional flash for this episode. If you're interested in seeing the flashes, send me a message (I tried posting links, but they disappeared).

And now, finally, our feature presentation:

**TEASER**

INT. TELEVISION NEWS STUDIO - NIGHT

ERIKA STRAUSS (24, brunette, beautiful) and LOGAN REED (26,  
blond, handsome) sit at a news desk, looking more like MTV  
veejays than TV news anchors. They wait to go on the air.

ERIKA  
It's taking longer than I thought.

LOGAN  
They've been cycling through  
signals for the past week, looking  
for something that brings results.

ERIKA  
I'm just getting bored. This isn't  
the job I signed up for.

LOGAN  
And what job was that?

ERIKA  
I don't exactly know, but I'm  
pretty sure taking over the world  
was in the contract somewhere.

Logan chuckles. A director steps up and gives a silent  
countdown. On a monitor, an onscreen graphic gives the name  
and slogan: "News Ring Network: Watching the World for YOU."

ERIKA  
Good evening, I'm Erika Strauss.

LOGAN  
And I'm Logan Reed.

ERIKA  
And this is NRN.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

CLOSE ON: the television in Chuck's apartment. The news  
broadcast plays on the screen.

Out the window, CHUCK, SARAH and CASEY are visible as they  
enter the courtyard.

EXT. APARTMENT COURTYARD - NIGHT

Chuck is dressed in his normal Nerd Herd attire, but Casey  
is dressed as a chef (complete with hat) and Sarah wears a  
maid costume (complete with sex appeal).

CHUCK  
Team Bartowski foils another evil  
plot to take over the world.

CASEY  
The Bartowski portion of the team  
didn't do much foiling tonight.

CHUCK  
Yeah, well, they can't all be flash  
fests, Casey. And I can't exactly  
help you fight when put under  
certain... vehicular... restraints.

Casey grunt-chuckles then heads off for his apartment.  
Chuck's sigh is on the dejected side. Sarah steps in front  
of him, puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles.

SARAH  
Chuck, don't worry about it. You  
did what we needed you to do.

CHUCK  
Are you really giving me props for  
staying in the car?

SARAH  
No. I'm praising you for keeping  
yourself safe while providing us  
with better back-up than Casey or I  
have ever received from any team--  
Bartowski or otherwise.

Chuck looks at her with a small smile. He puts a hand over  
the hand she still has on his shoulder.

CHUCK  
Thanks, Sarah.

A beat as their contact becomes awkwardly prolonged. Sarah  
gently pulls her hand away and heads for their apartment.  
Chuck makes just the briefest perusal of her outfit.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
You know, if anyone saw us right  
now, they would probably think  
we're pretty--

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

MORGAN (O.S.)  
Kinky.

Chuck follows Sarah into the apartment where MORGAN sits on  
the couch with a bowl of popcorn on his lap, the TV remote  
in his hand, and the lights low. He mutes the news show.

CHUCK  
Morgan? What are you doing here?

MORGAN  
Settling in for a little late-night  
channel surfing. You guys?

He smirks, taking a long look at Sarah's attire. She barely  
notices as she looks around the apartment suspiciously.

SARAH  
How'd you get in?

MORGAN  
Same as always. Morgan Door.

Morgan points the remote at the TV.

CHUCK  
Go home, Morgan.

MORGAN  
No, no, no. Chuck, buddy...

Morgan sets down his popcorn and tosses the remote onto the  
couch. He hops up and gets in Chuck's space.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
I can't go back there.

SARAH  
Why? What happened?

CHUCK  
I don't think we really want to--

MORGAN  
I was at home, sitting in my room,  
checking out some online... message  
boards when I got a serious case of  
the nighttime Morgan munchies.  
Sarah looks to Chuck. He smiles.

CHUCK  
Think Gremlins, but not as cute...  
and in his stomach.  
Sarah makes a grossed out face.

MORGAN  
And right there on the counter  
where I usually assemble the  
ingredients for my delectable  
microwave nachos...

CHUCK  
(to Sarah)  
You had to ask.

MORGAN  
There they were.

Chuck and Sarah look at each other in dread and disgust.

CHUCK  
Okay, that's enough--

SARAH  
You know, I really didn't

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
Apartment brochures.

Chuck and Sarah breathe a double sigh of relief.

MORGAN  
And a note that said "hint,  
hint"... in my own mother's  
handwriting. Hawaii is too far, but  
Sherman Oaks, she's fine with.

Sarah looks at him sympathetically.

SARAH  
You can stay here tonight, Morgan.

Chuck gives Sarah an arched eyebrow. She smiles.

MORGAN  
Thank you, Sarah.

Morgan gives Chuck a pointed look then turns his attention  
to the television and settles back onto the couch.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
And, don't worry, guys. When the  
Tron poster's a'rockin', the Morgan  
won't come a'knockin'.

Chuck closes his eyes, embarrassment playing all over his  
face. Sarah grins seductively and takes Chuck's hand,  
leading him down the hallway toward his bedroom.

Morgan smirks then grabs the remote and unmutes the TV. He  
is instantly engrossed in the news program.

INT. CHUCK'S ROOM - NIGHT

Chuck sits on his bed, intently watching Sarah lean over his  
desk and root around for something behind it. She fishes out  
a shopping bag from which she pulls a set of clothes.

CHUCK  
You didn't have to do that.

SARAH  
I felt bad for him.

CHUCK  
His mom and Big Mike. The Anna  
situation. Getting his own place.  
The only thing you should feel bad  
about is that he perpetually  
re-lives the same problems.

Sarah unzips the maid costume and steps out of it. Chuck  
stares at her undergarments for a beat before he looks away.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
So, since you're stuck in here...

Sarah pulls on a pair of jeans.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
I guess I'll take the floor.

Sarah slides a button-up shirt over her shoulders.

SARAH  
You're not sleeping on the floor.

Sarah buttons up the shirt. Chuck pretends not to watch.

SARAH (CONT'D)  
And I'm not stuck in here.

She walks over to the window and opens it.

SARAH (CONT'D)  
This "door" works both ways. I'm  
going out. If you need anything--

CHUCK  
Going out? Going out where?

Chuck walks over to her. She folds her arms.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
Can I go with you?

SARAH  
Sorry, but no. I don't need any  
backup on this one, Chuck.

Chuck looks at her with a disappointed look.

SARAH (CONT'D)  
(gentle, insistent)  
It's personal.

CHUCK  
But--

SARAH  
If you need anything,  
(she takes his hand)  
call Casey.

Sarah points to his wristwatch then lets go of his hand.  
Chuck takes a step back and watches Sarah climb out. He  
walks to his videogame collection to pull out his CALL OF  
DUTY 4 case. He opens it and slips out the instructions.

MONTAGE - "YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL" BY BEN FOLDS

1. The pages of the instruction booklet have been covered  
over with different information. The first page reads "Sarah  
Walker File" and shows a printed out photo of Sarah.

2. Sarah walks across the apartment courtyard. Casey spies  
on her out his window. Sarah looks over her shoulder.

3. A page listing songs from "Sarah's I-pod Playlist."

4. Sarah drives. Her I-pod plays through her car speakers.  
Sarah glances into her rear view mirror where she spots  
Casey's car. She hangs a quick right into a burger joint.

3. Another page in the Sarah file lists "Dislikes: Olives,  
Pet Names, Losing, Cold Feet?" On the opposite page, "Likes:  
Wine(red), Guitar Hero?, Extra Pickles."

4. Sarah drives with the windows down, the music up and a  
cheeseburger in her hand, pickles sticking out the edges.

5. The next page catalogs "Sarah Flashes" with hand-written  
descriptions and pictures to accompany each of Chuck's flash  
locations: the Subway, the Buy More entrance, the driveway.

6. Chuck lies on his bed, writing in his Sarah book.  
CLOSE ON: The page labeled "What is she hiding?" A list of  
hypotheticals follow: "Double agent? Fast food addiction?  
Swingers' Party? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Booty Call?"

7. A "24-HOUR" sign shines over the store. In the window, a  
television set plays the News Ring Network.  
Sarah walks through the parking lot, tossing the wrapper  
from her cheeseburger into a trashcan by the door. She  
glances around one more time before walking into the store.  
Casey pops up from a nearby shrub, watching Sarah walk in.

8. Chuck continues to write in his book.  
CLOSE ON: Chuck's hypothetical list. Everything has been  
scratched off except "Boyfriend?" and "Booty Call?"  
With the booklet still in his hand, Chuck glances at his  
watch. He shakes his head and pulls out his cell phone.

END OF MONTAGE

EXT. BUSHES - PARKING LOT - NIGHT

CLOSE ON: Casey as he answers his phone.

CASEY  
You better be dead or dying.

INT. CHUCK'S ROOM - NIGHT

CHUCK  
Does Sarah have a boyfriend?

CASEY (V.O.)  
Yeah. His name's Chuck. He's a real  
pain in the--

CHUCK  
Come on, Casey. You know what I  
mean. Does Sarah have a real  
boyfriend?

EXT. DRUG STORE - NIGHT

CASEY  
Don't know; don't care. Nor should  
you. It's not our business.

Casey walks up to the store, peeking inside. Over his  
shoulder, Sarah is visible walking through the aisles.

CHUCK (V.O.)  
She went out. She said "it's  
personal" then she just... left.

INT. DRUG STORE - NIGHT

Casey sneaks into the store, ducking behind shelves and  
displays as he speaks to Chuck:

CASEY  
Duh, Bartowski. Your room's bugged.  
Something you may want to consider  
the next time you decide to listen  
to "Hip to be Square" on a loop...  
all day... all weekend.

CHUCK (V.O.)  
Don't dis my jam, Casey. And don't  
try to distract me. What kind of  
secret personal business could  
Sarah Walker possibly have?

Sarah again walks into Casey's line of sight. He turns away  
so she doesn't spot him, only to find himself face-to-face  
with a wall of feminine hygiene products.

He grumbles and wrinkles his nose. He looks up to see Sarah  
headed for his aisle. He quickly slips into another aisle.

CHUCK (V.O.) (CONT'D)  
Hello? Casey? Are you there?

CASEY  
I'm a little busy right now.

CHUCK (V.O.)  
I feel like there's something  
Sarah's not telling me.

CASEY  
Look, she's a lady, okay? Maybe she  
had to go take care of some lady  
business. Now, let it go.

Casey watches as Sarah walks past the feminine hygiene  
products, but stops in the same aisle.

CHUCK (V.O.)  
Fine. You're right. She deserves  
her privacy... and I trust her. I  
know I'm jumping to conclusions,  
but I'm also... confused and...  
honestly... just plain curious.

CASEY  
Curiosity killed the spy, Chuck.

Casey hangs up the phone and squints to get a look at the  
box Sarah picks up.

CLOSE ON: the "Home Pregnancy Test" in Sarah's hand.  
Casey shakes his head and blinks in disbelief.

CASEY (CONT'D)  
And that will kill this whole  
Chucking operation.

FADE TO BLACK.

**END OF TEASER**


	2. Act I

**ACT I**

INT. WOODCOMB LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Devon and Ellie are cozily curled up on the couch, watching  
TV. The station is tuned to the News Ring Network.  
Logan Reed smiles charismatically at the camera.

LOGAN  
For those just joining us, I'm  
Logan Reed. Tonight, we investigate  
the ever-rising cost of candles in  
America. Erika Strauss reports...

ERIKA  
Thank you, Logan.

A nearly nonsensical reports drones on in the background. On  
the coffee table, Ellie's phone buzzes. She grabs and opens  
it. She smiles then uses the remote to turn off the TV.

DEVON  
Babe, what are you doing? I was...  
Devon shakes his head.

DEVON (CONT'D)  
Why was I getting invested in a  
report about candles in America?

ELLIE  
Exactly. You need to go to bed.

DEVON  
You're not coming with me?  
He wraps his arms around her.

ELLIE  
Sarah's coming over.

Devon tilts his head.

DEVON  
It's almost midnight.

Ellie slips out of his grasp.

ELLIE  
It's a girl thing.

Devon grins suggestively.

DEVON  
Awesome.

Ellie furrows her brow. Devon forces an innocent look.

ELLIE  
Did you really just go there?

DEVON  
The only place I'm going is to bed,  
Babe. Besides, you know I'm not the  
kind of guy who gets in the way of  
two girls... on a mission.

EXT. WOODCOMB RESIDENCE - NIGHT

Casey sits in his car a little way down the street. He lets  
out a curious grunt as Sarah walks up to the front door.  
The car door opens. Casey looks up in alarm, reaching for  
his gun, but leaves it when he sees Vanessa. She climbs in.

VANESSA  
Do you ever sleep?

CASEY  
It's only midnight.  
(beat)  
How'd you sneak up on me like that?

VANESSA  
Practicing my stalker skills.

Vanessa holds out a Subway bag to Casey.

VANESSA (CONT'D)  
So... what are you doing here?

CASEY  
Taking care of some personal  
business.

Casey takes the bag. He pulls out the sub and sets it on the  
dash then pulls out a cookie. He smiles very, very briefly.

VANESSA  
Tailing Sarah is personal business?

CASEY  
I didn't say it was my personal  
business... or how I was going to  
take care of it.

A beat as Casey take a bite of the cookie.

VANESSA  
I have something else for you.  
Casey cocks an eyebrow.

CASEY  
I hope it's a link into the house  
surveillance feed.

VANESSA  
Sorry. Dr. Bartowski is a bit  
private when it comes to family.

Casey takes another bite of cookie. Vanessa pulls out a  
small case and holds it out to Casey.

VANESSA (CONT'D)  
Totally unrelated. But really cool.

Casey holds the remaining half of his cookie in his mouth as  
he takes and opens the case. An ammo clip lays inside.

CASEY  
If you were my real stalker, you'd  
already know I always carry plenty  
of extra ammo.

VANESSA  
None like this.

Casey holds the clip up and examines it, finishing his  
cookie as Vanessa speaks:

VANESSA (CONT'D)  
My newest invention. Let's say, you  
shoot a guy and he gets away. How  
do you find him?

CASEY  
Follow the blood trail?

VANESSA  
Or... use the global positioning  
and tracking chip that was  
implanted when you shot him.

Casey takes another look at the clip.

CASEY  
GPS bullets?

VANESSA  
They're already synced up with all  
your tracking devices. Enjoy.

Vanessa starts to get out of the car.

CASEY  
Quinton?

She pauses and looks back at Casey.

CASEY (CONT'D)  
Thanks.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

Steve sits in front of a computer. He has several video  
feeds pulled up: Chuck's living room, Ellie's kitchen,  
Casey's car across the street, the trashcan entrance.  
A crash sounds just before Vanessa enters via the portal.

VANESSA  
You're just as bad as Casey.

Steve ignores her and touches the window for Ellie's  
kitchen. It takes over the whole screen. Steve pulls out a  
set of headphones and plugs into his monitor.

VANESSA (CONT'D)  
Maybe worse.

Vanessa walks over to her work bench.

INT. WOODCOMB KITCHEN - NIGHT

Ellie and Sarah sit next to each other on counter stools.

SARAH  
Wow.

ELLIE  
I know. This is so amazing.

Sarah nods.

ELLIE  
I mean, this is amazing, right?

Sarah puts on a real smile.

SARAH  
Of course.

ELLIE  
(freaking out)  
Because if you don't think it's  
amazing, what's he going to think?

SARAH  
I think... he'll think... it's...  
(she grins)  
Awesome.

Ellie matches her grin and raises her a squeal.

ELLIE  
Thank you. Thank you, Sarah, for  
sharing this moment with me.

Ellie gives Sarah a big hug, a few happy tears falling.

ELLIE  
I hope you know this permanently  
solidifies your position in the  
Bartowkski-Woodcomb clan.

Sarah closes her eyes and swallows. In the living room, in  
the background, the News Ring Network is still broadcasting.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Morgan watches the same channel. On screen, Erika Strauss  
reports on the importance of sunscreen.

Down the hall, Chuck exits his bedroom in a t-shirt, pajama  
bottoms and bare feet. He opens the door to Sarah's room.  
Inside, the room looks like a home office, no bed deployed.  
Chuck closes the door and walks on into the living room.

MORGAN  
That took longer than I thought.

Chuck looks insulted.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
And, wow, I had no idea you were  
so... experimental, Chuck.

CHUCK  
Can we just... not...

MORGAN  
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure. Hey, do you  
think Sarah'd let Anna borrow that  
getup, huh? I have this fantasy--

CHUCK  
So... whatcha watching, buddy?  
Morgan smiles sheepishly.

MORGAN  
The News.

Chuck's brow furrows until he sees the woman onscreen. She  
shows the proper way to administer sunblock.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
Have you watched this channel  
before? News Ring Network: We Watch  
the World for You.

CHUCK  
That's a little...

Chuck glances at the screen, focusing on the logo: a thin  
red ring with an eye inside.

FLASH: A photo of the logo in a folder, a file on the Erika  
Strauss, a photo of her shooting a gun, a dead CIA agent.  
Chuck blinks out of the flash.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
Creepy.

Chuck slides down onto the couch, staring at the screen in  
an almost trance-like state.

MORGAN  
The lovely lady lathering herself  
up is Ms. Er--

CHUCK  
(monotone)  
Erika Strauss.

MORGAN  
They're all like her. The anchor  
women are hotties. The anchormen  
are Captain Awesome clones.

Chuck stares at the television screen, entranced.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

Steve watches Morgan and Chuck watching television. In the  
background, Vanessa works at her station.

STEVE  
What is this channel?  
Steve grabs his keyboard and with a few keystrokes,  
navigates away from the surveillance and to the News Ring  
Network. He stares at Erika Strauss. Vanessa looks over.

VANESSA  
News Ring. It's only been on the  
air for about a week. Kind of the  
MTV of news networks.  
Steve stares at the screen.

STEVE  
Something's not...  
Vanessa looks at him curiously. Steve doesn't even blink.

VANESSA  
Dr. Bartowski? Are you okay?  
Steve stands up suddenly.

STEVE  
Are you my handler?

VANESSA  
No...

STEVE  
Tell them nothing. I have to go.

Steve walks toward a small trap door in the wall by the  
portal. He opens the trap door and climbs inside.

VANESSA  
What are you doing?

Vanessa sighs and follows him into the passage.

EXT. WOODCOMB RESIDENCE - NIGHT

Sarah walks down the driveway. She glances at Casey's car,  
but averts her eyes and picks up her pace toward her car.

CASEY (O.S.)  
What the hell do you do you think  
you're doing here, Walker?

Sarah freezes with her hand on her car door. Casey steps up,  
out of the darkness, on the other side of the car.

SARAH  
I think... I'm protecting my cover.

Casey scoffs and widens his eyes in disbelief.

SARAH  
What is it you think I'm doing?

CASEY  
I think you're screwing Chuck. And  
I don't mean in the good way. At  
least, not this time.

SARAH  
Okay, you are way out of line.

CASEY  
Says the broad who picks and  
chooses what to tell the guy she's  
supposed to be protecting.

SARAH  
Supposed to be protecting? Chuck is  
protected. Because of me.

CASEY  
Chuck is confused because of you.

SARAH  
You said yourself that I'm the only  
one who knows how to handle  
Chuck--so let me handle him.

CASEY  
Handle, not manhandle.

Sarah stares at Casey.

SARAH  
Trust me, I'm using kid gloves.

Casey coughs away a scoff. The sound of a trashcan lid  
falling and spinning on the ground grabs their attention.  
Down the street, Steve climbs out of one of two silver  
trashcans then wanders down the street. Vanessa climbs out  
and spots Casey and Sarah. She waves them over.

VANESSA  
A little help?

They jog over. Steve walks slowly away from them. Vanessa,  
Sarah and Casey follow behind.

CASEY  
Experiment gone wrong?

VANESSA  
I don't know. He was watching TV.  
Then, all of a sudden, he said...

CHUCK (V.O.)  
I have to go.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Chuck sits erect, staring at the television. Morgan lounges.

MORGAN  
Yeah, tell me about. I've been  
holding it for an hour. Hard to  
drag yourself away from--

Morgan watches as Chuck stands up and walks toward the door.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
Whoa, hang on. Chuck?

Morgan hops up.

CHUCK  
I have to go.

MORGAN  
Okay. Go where?

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT

Vanessa, Sarah and Casey continue to follow Steve.

VANESSA  
I don't know. All he'd say is--

CHUCK (V.O.)  
It's a secret.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Chuck opens the front door.

MORGAN  
Can I go, too?

CHUCK  
I must go alone. Stay here.

MORGAN  
Is this a joke? Is Ashton Kutcher  
waiting outside right now? That  
would explain the maid costume.

CHUCK  
Don't tell Sarah and Casey.

MORGAN  
Casey? Yeah, you know, me and Casey  
don't really chat it up so I think  
we're good. That man is unstable.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT

Steve walks. The rest follow.

CASEY  
Should I shoot him with one of my  
fancy new bullets?

Sarah and Vanessa look mortified.

SARAH  
Let's restrain him.

Casey nods. He and Sarah cut Steve off. Steve stops moving.

STEVE  
Are you my handlers?

Casey and Sarah look to Vanessa. She shakes her head no.

SARAH  
No.

STEVE  
Tell them nothing.

CASEY  
Sure, you got it. Lips are sealed.

STEVE  
(to Sarah)  
I'm going to be a grandpa.

Vanessa and Casey glance at each other.

SARAH  
That's supposed to be a secret.

STEVE  
(becoming more aware)  
I'm supposed to go, but... I want  
to stay. I don't want to go.

VANESSA  
Go where, Dr. Bartowski?

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Morgan blocks Chuck's path to the door.

MORGAN  
This doesn't make any sense, Chuck.

Chuck takes off his watch and hands it to Morgan.

CHUCK  
Put that on.

Morgan slips it on, looking at Chuck quizzically.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT

Steve stands surrounded by Vanessa, Sarah and Casey. They  
all look at him apprehensively as he spins, looking at each  
of them individually. He blinks a few times.

STEVE  
(perfectly lucid)  
If all of us are here, who's with  
Chuck right now?  
Sarah and Casey look at each other.

SARAH  
Chuck's fine. He's at home, asleep.

CASEY  
No, he's up fretting about his  
cover girlfriend's "personal  
business." And with good reason,  
apparently.

Sarah rolls her eyes.

VANESSA  
Actually, he was watching TV with  
Morgan. That's how this started.  
Dr. Bartowski turned on the News  
Ring Network.

STEVE  
The signal was encoded.

SARAH  
Did you say... News Ring Network?

CASEY  
Were they trying to make it easy?

STEVE  
(ominous)  
It won't be easy at all. And if  
Morgan was the only thing standing  
between Charles and the Ring... we  
may already be too late.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Morgan stands between Chuck and the door. He bends down to  
pick up Chuck's shoes from where they lay by the front door.

MORGAN  
At least put on some shoes before--

Chuck quickly reaches out and chops Morgan on the shoulder,  
instantly knocking him out. He reaches down and grabs his  
shoes from Morgan's hand then steps over him and exits.

**END OF ACT I**


	3. Act II

**ACT II **

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Morgan lays flat on the floor, unconscious. He wakes up, his  
hand shooting to his head. He winces in pain, but then jumps  
up and runs toward the front door.

EXT. APARTMENT COURTYARD - NIGHT

Chuck sits on the fountain, carefully tying his shoes.  
Morgan runs out of the apartment door, skidding to a stop  
when he sees Chuck. Chuck ignores him and stands up.

MORGAN  
(to himself)  
Invasion of the Buddy Snatchers...

Chuck walks slowly toward the courtyard exit. Morgan gulps,  
looking at Chuck tentatively. He rubs his shoulder.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
Hey, uh, Stepford Chuck?

Chuck keeps walking. Morgan nods. He knows what he must do.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
Alright. Okay. Desperate times...

Morgan runs at Chuck and jumps on his back. Chuck  
robotically tilts from side to side, trying to break free.  
Morgan flails and thrashes, pulling Chuck backward.

In slow motion, Morgan and Chuck fall into the fountain;  
Chuck lands on Morgan, keeping himself dry and above water.  
Morgan cracks the back of his head against the edge of the  
fountain, knocking him out... again.

Ignoring Morgan, Chuck climbs out of the fountain and heads  
for the exit. Morgan drifts in and out consciousness, his  
head bobbing above then below the water.

Sarah and Casey run into the courtyard entryway, blocking  
Chuck who pauses and stares at them.

CHUCK  
Identifying... Sarah and Casey.

SARAH  
Chuck. Thank God.

Sarah starts toward him, but Casey grabs her arm and pulls  
her back. She looks at him with annoyed curiosity, but he  
trains her eyes toward the fountain. Her jaw drops.

SARAH (CONT'D)  
Morgan? What happened?

Sarah runs over to Morgan, dragging him out of the fountain.  
Chuck watches her, but turns his attention to Casey.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

Steve and Vanessa watch the courtyard on a monitor. Steve  
hits a button on his keyboard.

STEVE  
Be careful, Casey. This isn't  
Chuck. This is the Intersect  
following a very specific command  
sequence. This will not be easy.

On screen, Casey smiles at the challenge.

EXT. APARTMENT COURTYARD - NIGHT

Casey takes a step toward Chuck. He goes for his arm, but  
Chuck swats it away in a slick defensive maneuver. Casey  
growls and charges Chuck in full force now.

At first, Chuck blocks Casey's submission attempts, but  
eventually he starts fighting back, landing punches and  
kicks that send Casey stumbling. Casey turns up the offense.

As the fight rages in the background, Sarah tries to bring  
Morgan back around. She takes a reluctant breath then leans  
toward him to give him mouth-to-mouth.

Just before Sarah's lips touch Morgan's, he coughs up a  
mouthful of water, spraying her face. She wipes it away in  
disgust, but then looks at Morgan with concern.

SARAH  
Morgan?

Chuck and Casey, still duking it out, circle around them.

MORGAN  
Hey... hey, Sarah. Where's that  
maid outfit? Chuck's been acting...

Sarah watches Chuck and Casey for a beat. Morgan turns his  
head to watch, as well. His eyes get wide.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
Why're they fighting? Is it over  
you? You are a pretty lady.

He looks up at her, hovering on the edge of consciousness.

SARAH  
Thank you, Morgan. And, I am sorry  
about this.

MORGAN  
Sorry about--

Sarah stabs a needle into Morgan's neck. He passes out.

SARAH  
That'll help with the questions.  
And the headache... yours and mine.

Sarah drags Morgan out of the way. When she lays his arms  
down, she spots Chuck's watch on his wrist. She grabs it and  
puts it on her own wrist then heads for the fight.

Sarah tries to get an arm around Chuck's neck, but he grabs  
her arm and twists it so that she spins around. He shoves  
her into Casey, knocking him down. With a stabilizing catch  
from Casey, Sarah stays on her feet.

CASEY  
Walker, you okay? Be careful, huh?

Sarah gives Casey a raise of her eyebrows, but then spins  
around. She and Chuck circle each other. His stare is icy.  
Chuck lunges for Sarah, but she sidesteps him. He stumbles  
into Casey's waiting arms. Casey locks his arms under  
Chuck's armpits, restraining him in a standing full Nelson.

CASEY  
Use the drugs.

SARAH  
I used the only syringe on Morgan.

CASEY  
Then put your foot to his face to  
activate the stars and birdies.

Chuck struggles against Casey, trying desperately to get  
free, but unable to release himself.

STEVE (V.O.)  
That will only delay the problem. I  
think we can fix this now. You've  
got to get him to flash. It may be  
the only way to overwrite the new  
commands and get back to the  
Intersect's prime directive.

SARAH  
But he already flashed; he knows  
Kung-Fu.

As if on cue, Chuck leans back against Casey and kicks up at  
Sarah. She leans back out of his reach. Casey tightens his  
grip and kicks Chuck in the back of the knee.

STEVE (V.O.)  
No. That's one of the instructions  
in the code: fight to get free,  
ditch your handlers, come alone. I  
was able to combat it on my  
own because it wasn't intended for  
me, but Chuck can't. He's got to  
flash.

CASEY  
Figure this out, Walker. I can  
barely hold him. This geek is  
stronger than he looks.

Chuck thrashes and struggles against Casey. Sarah looks  
around then freezes as something occurs to her.

SARAH  
Okay. I know how to make him flash.

CASEY  
Quickly...

Sarah closes her eyes to center herself then she jumps at  
Chuck. She grabs his face and pulls him into... a kiss.

FLASH: Ellie's wedding reception in the courtyard, Chuck and  
Sarah dancing, Chuck says, "You belong out there, saving the  
world," Sarah asks, "How many times do you have to be a hero  
to realize that you are that guy?" Chuck stands with Steve  
who says, "You've done your part," Chuck says, "I love her."

BACK TO SCENE

Chuck returns Sarah's kiss, intensifying it. Casey's curled  
lip matches his audible snarl as he is forced to watch the  
action from just inches away.

CASEY (CONT'D)  
Okay, this is what got you two in  
trouble in the first place.

Sarah leans away slightly, but Chuck prolongs the kiss.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

Steve and Vanessa watch the kiss.

STEVE  
(surprised)  
Looks like it worked.

Vanessa's smile is amused; Steve's is relieved.

EXT. APARTMENT COURTYARD - NIGHT

Sarah and Chuck continue kissing, the intensity rising.

CASEY  
Hey. Hello? Is he fixed or what?  
Because maybe this is what you guys  
are into, but it's getting a little  
awkward on my end.

Chuck and Sarah part slowly. He stares at her, a Chuck-grin  
spreading across his face. Sarah raises her eyebrows.

SARAH  
Chuck?

CHUCK  
(enchanted)  
Yes, Sarah?

SARAH  
Are you okay?

CHUCK  
Yeah, I'm... oh.

He looks around then back at a glaring Casey.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
Oops.

Casey tosses him forward onto the ground.

CUT TO:

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - MORNING

Chuck crashed out of the portal and lands on the floor. He  
scrambles to his feet just as Sarah slides out of the  
portal. Her would-be perfect landing is thwarted by Chuck's  
presence in her landing spot. Instead, she crashes into him.

They both stay upright, but her body presses into his. They  
stare at each other for a moment before breaking apart just  
in time for Casey to come sliding out between them.

Everyone wears fresh clothes and a digital clock shows the  
time as "7:02 A.M." Casey mumbles to himself about being  
late. Behind him, Vanessa is hard at work in front of a  
television screen. Steve is at a computer, typing code.

STEVE  
Busy night for everyone, huh?

BECKMAN (O.S.)  
A little too busy for my taste.

Everyone turns to the largest screen in the room where  
Beckman seems to peer in at each of them.

BECKMAN  
Would someone care to explain how  
we nearly let the asset walk into  
waiting enemy hands last night?

CHUCK  
Asset? I thought I was an agent or,  
at least, an agent in training.

BECKMAN  
Your status is downgraded until I'm  
convinced that you are able to  
think and act totally for yourself.  
(she rethinks it)  
Within reason, of course.

Sarah looks sympathetically at Chuck who slumps down in a  
chair and broods quietly.

CASEY  
It's not the kid's fault. There's  
some sort of encoded message--

BECKMAN  
I'm not looking for your technical  
appraisal. I've been debriefed.

She glances at Steve. He gives her a smile and wink. She  
clears her throat and smooths her hair then turns to Casey.

BECKMAN  
What I want to know is who to  
blame. You've just ruled out Chuck.  
Agent Quinton and Dr. Bartowski  
were at their assigned posts.

CHUCK  
Which leaves only Colonel Mustard  
and Ms. Scarlett.

All eyes dart to Chuck, but then back to Beckman.

CASEY  
I attribute it to a combination of  
bad timing and... poor judgment.

Sarah steals a glance at Casey, but he stares at the screen.

BECKMAN  
I hope you realize the severity of  
the mistake that was almost made.  
Maybe Chuck isn't the only one who  
needs a demotion.

Casey sets his jaw. Sarah steps forward.

SARAH  
General, it's my job to protect  
Chuck. I take full responsibility  
for the situation.

Casey gives her a glare.

BECKMAN  
Where were you anyway, Ms. Walker?

CHUCK  
Oh my God! Oh my God...

They all turn to him again.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
This is the longest episode of The  
Blame Game I've ever seen.

Chuck stands and walks toward the screen. Casey and Sarah  
trade a look, but neither stops him.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
General, with all due respect, this  
is a colossal waste of time.

BECKMAN  
And what brilliant time-management  
plan do you have for us? Hm?

CHUCK  
How about trying to decode the NRN  
broadcast signal?

BECKMAN  
Brilliant idea. Dr. Bartowski,  
where are we on the signal?

Steve casts an apologetic look at his son.

STEVE  
There's a weak subliminal signal  
designed to capture the attention  
and interest of the average viewer.  
There's also a deeper encryption,  
presumably intended for the  
Intersect, but it changes every few  
minutes and I've yet to see the  
same sequence twice. It's going to  
take me some time to unscramble.

BECKMAN  
Next suggestion, Chuck?

CHUCK  
Okay... why don't we figure out  
where they're filming this stuff?

BECKMAN  
Another stroke of genius. Agent  
Quinton? Have you been able to find  
the location of the studio?

Vanessa looks up from her work.

VANESSA  
They're bouncing the broadcast off  
a trail of satellites. I'm trying  
to work my way back to the source,  
but the origin is proving nearly  
impossible to find.

Chuck sighs and stares at the wall.

BECKMAN  
And you, Mr. Agent in Training,  
have no recollection of where you  
were attempting to go, correct?

Chuck narrows his eyes and folds his arms.

CHUCK  
No, but--

BECKMAN  
Casey, Walker... escort the asset  
to his job at the Buy More. And  
don't let him wander off.

Beckman's feed disappears.

INT. NERD HERDER - DAY

Casey drives. Sarah sits in the passenger seat. Chuck leans  
forward from the backseat.

CASEY  
This is why we don't talk back to  
our superiors.

CHUCK  
Somebody had to. She was trying to  
blame you guys for something that  
was clearly beyond your control.

SARAH  
Beckman was right. I shouldn't have  
left you alone.

CASEY  
(mumbled)  
Or maybe you should have left him  
alone a long time ago.

SARAH  
And maybe you should learn to mind  
your own business, Casey, instead  
of following me on mine.

CHUCK  
(chastising)  
Casey... and after giving me that  
"curiosity killed the spy" spiel...

CASEY  
Shut up, Bartowski. If we go back  
far enough, this whole mess...

Casey glances at Sarah, his eyes trailing to her stomach. He  
looks back up to meet Chuck's eye in the rear view mirror.

CHUCK  
... is your fault.

Sarah stares at Casey with a furrowed brow. Casey focuses on  
driving. Chuck's look ping pongs between them.

INT. BUY MORE - DAY

MORGAN  
This is all my fault.

The television wall is covered with the News Ring Network.  
Lester and Jeff stare at the screens as Erika Strauss,  
dressed in a towel and standing in front of a  
shower, reports on the dangers of hard water.

Morgan walks up.

MORGAN  
I should have never shown you guys  
this channel. Especially after the  
nightmares it gave me last night.

JEFF  
Nightmares? Chuck and Casey Kung-Fu  
fighting over Sarah in a maid  
uniform? Sounds more like a dream  
come true to me, right, Lester?

Lester is enthralled by the program. He looks over, lost.

LESTER  
We can get her here, you know.

CHUCK (O.S.)  
We can get who here?

Chuck walks up to the gang.

JEFF  
Naughty French Maid Sarah.

LESTER  
Our sights are set higher than the  
Subway today, Jeffrey. I'm talking  
about the lovely Erika Strauss.

Lester nods up to the television. Chuck doesn't look.

CHUCK  
Okay, guys, I think we need to turn  
this off.

MORGAN  
Exactly. I'm with you, Chuck. This  
station is bad news.

LESTER  
That's where you're wrong, my  
unshorn amigo. This station is  
nothing but good news... at least,  
for us... when she gets here.

MORGAN  
Count me out.

Morgan walks away, holding his neck. Lester's face falls.

CASEY (O.S.)  
Keep talking, Patel. How do you  
plan on getting the news lady here?

Chuck looks at Casey in horror as he approaches the group.

LESTER  
Well, uh...

The group forms a circle, Lester fidgets as everyone stares  
at him. Chuck leans in to whisper to Casey.

CHUCK  
Really? Has it come to this?  
Relying on Lester for a plan?

CASEY  
Never underestimate an under-sexed  
nerd's quest for unattainable tail.

Chuck's eyebrows show skepticism, but he turns to Lester.

LESTER  
All we have to do is call the tip  
line and tell them we have  
something newsworthy at the store.

CHUCK  
Tip line?

Chuck looks to Casey. Casey shrugs. Lester pulls out a slip  
of paper with a telephone number written on it.

LESTER  
I found it on the network website.

CASEY  
(to Chuck)  
See?  
(to Lester)  
How resourceful of you.

CHUCK  
And just what do we have here at  
the Buy More that is... newsworthy?

JEFF  
Murder always makes the news.

Casey grins, but Chuck's glare makes him drop it.

LESTER  
A hostage situation would be nice.

CHUCK  
Did you forget last Christmas?

LESTER  
Right... been done before.

JEFF  
Sex scandal. Buy More employee  
Jeffrey Barnes caught cavorting  
with gorgeous blonde maid.

Chuck gives him a look of disbelief.

CASEY  
You know what? Why don't you boys  
leave it to me. I think I know just  
what to tell them.

Chuck turns his look to Casey, but Casey grabs the piece of  
paper from Lester and walks away from the group. Chuck turns  
to Lester and Jeff, but their infatuation with the  
televisions has returned. Chuck walks away, chasing Casey.

Casey heads toward the home theater room. Sarah enters just  
after Chuck and Casey enter together.

SARAH  
What's going on?

Casey locks down the room and pulls out the NSA  
communication command station.

CHUCK  
Casey has a plan.

SARAH  
Oh. Well, that's good news.

CHUCK  
He got it from Lester.

Sarah cocks her head to the side.

SARAH  
The same Lester who, just last  
week, traded Casey for a footlong?

CHUCK  
Now you understand my concern.

CASEY  
Just tell her the plan, numb nuts.

CHUCK  
Lester got the number for News  
Ring's tip line. Casey's going to  
call and tell them... tell them  
what exactly? I missed that.

CASEY  
I'm going to tell them we have what  
they want.

CHUCK  
A compelling human interest piece?

SARAH  
The Intersect...

Casey smiles and nods once. Sarah folds her arms. Chuck  
looks back and forth between them, his dread rising.

**END OF ACT II**


	4. Act III

**ACT III**

INT. BUY MORE - DAY

From across the store, Jeff, Lester and Morgan stare at the  
home theater room. It's completely closed off.

MORGAN  
There's no way Casey's getting the  
News Ring Network to this store.

LESTER  
Really? You think someone would say  
"no" to the man commonly referred  
to as "the Terminator" by most Buy  
More employees?

Morgan swallows, but puts on a tough face.

MORGAN  
What's he even doing in there?

JEFF  
Dunno, but he said it's hasta la  
vista, baby, if we bug him.

INT. BUY MORE - HOME THEATER ROOM - DAY

Vanessa sits on the couch. Casey walks toward the door.

CASEY  
I'll be back. Get me when Beckman--

BECKMAN (O.S.)  
Have a seat Casey.

The general pops up on the screen. Casey complies.

BECKMAN  
Your plan is to lure this Erika  
Strauss person to the Buy More?

CASEY  
Yes.

BECKMAN  
I presume the asset is secure?

Casey looks to Vanessa with a raised eyebrow.

VANESSA  
Yes, Ma'am.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

Chuck sits on a stool with his arms folded. Sarah sits at a  
surveillance monitor three feet away, flipping between a  
full shot of Buy More and a closer Subway counter shot.

In the background, Steve wears headphones and looks between  
a string of code on his computer screen and video footage of  
The News Ring Network.

Chuck pulls out the CALL OF DUTY 4 manual from his pocket.  
He flips through a few pages then returns it to his pocket.

CHUCK  
Hey, Sarah?

SARAH  
Yes, Chuck?

CHUCK  
You know how I wanted to save that  
last Sarah Walker fact for later?

SARAH  
You ready to collect?

CHUCK  
Actually, I was wondering if I  
could cash it in for a question?

Sarah raises an eyebrow, her back still to Chuck. She slowly  
spins around in her chair to face him.

SARAH  
Tell you what, since I left you  
alone and unprotected last night,  
you can have the question for free.

CHUCK  
Okay. Wow. Well... I know that  
curiosity killed the spy... or  
whatever, but I can't help--

SARAH  
Offer expires in five... four...

CHUCK  
Where'd you go last night?

Sarah's lips form a line. Chuck's look turns uncertain.  
Sarah closes her eyes then slowly opens them.

SARAH  
I really want to answer you, Chuck,  
but... I can't. Not yet. I'm sorry.

Sarah's eyes fall to Chuck's watch which she wears instead  
of her own. Chuck watches her for a beat.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY  
Devon and Ellie walk down the hallway together.

ELLIE  
Sorry, Sweetie. It's a surprise.

DEVON  
Secret meetings. Now a mysterious  
dinner party. If I didn't know  
better, Babe, I'd think you were...  
Ellie raises an eyebrow.

DEVON (CONT'D)  
Plotting to take over the world.  
Ellie smiles coyly then walks away.

INT. BUY MORE - DAY

Jeff and Lester sit Indian-style in front of the television  
wall, staring at the largest screen. The News Ring Network  
fills every television.

INT. NERD HERD DESK - DAY

Morgan sits in Chuck's chair, watching Jeff and Lester. He  
shakes his head and spins around to face the opposite way.

EXT. BUY MORE LOADING DOCK - DAY

Casey and Vanessa sit on the edge of the loading dock.

VANESSA  
So... Sarah and Chuck?

Casey's eyes roll up.

CASEY  
(condescending)  
What do you want to know? Is it  
more than a cover? Do they have  
something real under their fake  
relationship? Have they ever--

VANESSA  
Actually... I was just wondering if  
they were linked up with us yet.

She points to her ear, adjusting an unseen ear piece.

CASEY  
Oh, right. Er... Sarah?

SARAH (V.O.)  
Yep...

Casey smiles awkwardly and stares off. Vanessa smiles.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

Sarah watches Casey and Vanessa on the surveillance monitor,  
her back to Chuck. She wears a communications headset. She  
hits a button on the headset. "Mic Muted" appears on screen.

Chuck jots something down into his manual then slips it into  
his pocket. He taps his hands on his thighs, looking around.

CHUCK  
Even waiting in the car is more  
exciting than this.

Sarah spins around to face Chuck. She gets up and walks to  
him, slipping his watch off her wrist and holding it out to  
him. He gives her his wrist; she wraps the watch around it.

SARAH  
Believe me, I don't like being  
sidelined any more than you do, but  
until your father can guarantee the  
Intersect is totally tamper-proof,  
you're stuck here--we both are.

She glances over at the hard-at-work Steve, her hands still  
poised at Chuck's wrist. She fastens the watch slowly, her  
fingers touching his skin a little longer than required.

STEVE (O.S.)  
Dammit! This is impossible.

Steve tosses down his headphones and shoves away his  
keyboard. Sarah drops Chuck's wrist and takes a step back.

STEVE  
How the hell am I supposed to apply  
a filter to a system designed to  
accept and interpret all inputs?

VANESSA (V.O.)  
Hey, Sarah? You there? We've got a  
visual on the news van.

Sarah goes back to the monitor and unmutes the mic. She  
waves Chuck over. He complies.

SARAH  
I'm here. Chuck's checking on the  
plates now.

Chuck looks at the screen, but then shakes his head.

EXT. BUY MORE LOADING DOCK - DAY

Vanessa and Casey slowly approach a parked news van.

SARAH (V.O.)  
Okay, no Intersect flashes on the  
van or the plates so I'm sending  
them through the system.

KYAN (23, cute and scruffy) gets out the driver's seat.  
NADIA (25, unkempt, but hot) climbs out from the back  
holding a camera.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

Chuck watches over Sarah's shoulder. She turns to him, but  
he shrugs and shakes his head.

SARAH  
Nothing on these guys either.

EXT. BUY MORE LOADING DOCK - DAY

KYAN  
What up, man? You Casey? I'm Kyan.  
This is my camera girl, Nadia.

CASEY  
Where's Erika Strauss?

Kyan and Nadia laugh.

NADIA  
You think News Ring sends Erika  
Strauss out on every news tip?

KYAN  
Now where's the whatchamacallit?

NADIA  
The intercept.

VANESSA  
You mean the Intersect.

KYAN  
Yeah, whatever.

NADIA  
We're going to need some footage.

Nadia puts her camera on her shoulder. Casey gives Vanessa  
one long nod. They both pull out their guns and back Kyan  
and Nadia into the van. Vanessa grabs Nadia's camera.

NADIA (CONT'D)  
Careful. That's expensive.

KYAN  
(nervous)  
Hey, guys, if you're looking for a  
route to Erika Strauss, you picked  
the wrong news crew, okay?

VANESSA  
Calm down. We're federal agents.

She pulls out her credentials. Kyan and Nadia trade a look.

VANESSA (CONT'D)  
And we need a little information.

CASEY  
Address of the studio, for example.  
Casey points the gun at Kyan's head.

KYAN  
Ah! I... Oh, God, I don't know.

NADIA  
We've never been there.

VANESSA  
You work for them. You must have--

KYAN  
Look, we're just free-lancers,  
okay? We've been trying to get work  
from News Ring since they went on  
the air. Today was the first time  
they called us.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

Sarah continues to watch. Chuck turns a computer monitor in  
her direction. He cycles through Kyan and Nadia's drivers'  
licenses, vehicle registration and business license.

SARAH  
Casey, looks like these guys are  
legit. They're just pawns. They may  
want to help. Give them a choice.

In the background, Steve looks up at that statement. He puts  
his headphones back on and grabs his keyboard, typing.

EXT. BUY MORE LOADING DOCK - DAY

Casey continues to point his gun at Kyan.

CASEY  
You've got two choices: tell us  
everything you know or... I shoot.

NADIA  
All they told us was that once we  
got the footage we should call some  
number. They'd come for the tape.

Kyan pulls out a business card and hands it to Casey.

CASEY  
Then that's exactly what you're  
going to do.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. EMPTY LOT - DAY

The news van is parked alone in the lot.

INT. NEWS VAN - DAY

Casey and Vanessa now sit in the driver and passenger seats.  
They are scruffed up, looking much like Kyan and Nadia.

CASEY  
This should be a piece of cake. All  
we have to do is give 'em the tape.

VANESSA  
Then tail them. Easy.

CHUCK (V.O.)  
They didn't get to be a  
super-secret, super-bad terrorist  
organization for nothing. Maybe you  
should have a contingency plan.

CASEY  
I do. Now either put Walker on the  
line, or take me back to the menu  
and turn off the geek commentary.

CHUCK (V.O.)  
I'm sorry, Agent Walker's not  
available right now. Please leave a  
message at the beep. Beeeeeeep.

Casey growls and pulls out his ear piece, tossing it into  
the back of the van. Vanessa shakes her head.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

Chuck sits in front of the surveillance monitor. He flips  
between a shot of Casey and Vanessa in the van and a view  
from the van of the parking lot.

Across the lab, Sarah sits with Steve.

STEVE  
Okay, watch the screen.

Sarah turns to a television and instantly glazes over. She  
stares at the screen without blinking.

STEVE (CONT'D)  
Hey! Sarah! What are you doing?

Sarah snaps out of it and turns to him. Steve smiles.

STEVE (CONT'D)  
All we need is interruption.

SARAH  
But that didn't work with Chuck.

STEVE  
Because the Intersect works off a  
visual-based processing system.

Steve puts a transparency sheet marked with indecipherable  
images over the screen. Steve nods to he screen. Sarah  
watches for a moment then casually turns back to Steve.

STEVE (CONT'D)  
What's different?

SARAH  
I'm still compelled to watch, but  
now I feel like I have a choice.

STEVE  
Precisely. I can't anticipate every  
possible malicious directive, but  
what I can do, by using a visual  
interruption, is give enough time  
for Chuck to make a choice.

CHUCK  
(from across the room)  
You mean I finally get free will?

EXT. EMPTY LOT - DAY

A dark car pulls up. Casey and Vanessa exit the van. Casey  
has a videotape in one hand, his other poised on his gun.  
The familiar agents BLANK (male, 32, light hair) and CUTLER  
(female, 26, dark hair) dressed in black suits and  
sunglasses exit the car. Cutler carries a briefcase.

CASEY  
Hey, I'm Kyan. This is Nadia.

VANESSA  
Hi.

CUTLER  
Do you have the video?

VANESSA  
Yeah. The intercept. Crazy stuff.

Casey holds up the tape.

BLANK  
You mean the Intersect.

VANESSA  
Huh?

Blank and Cutler exchange an amused, condescending look.

CASEY  
Are we just gonna follow you guys  
to the News Ring studios or... ?

Blank laughs coldly. Cutler opens her briefcase.

BLANK  
You're not going anywhere.

CUTLER  
Give me the tape.

CASEY  
We'd prefer to deliver this to  
Erika Strauss personally, if you  
don't mind.

BLANK  
Erika Strauss and Logan Reed are  
just the pretty faces.

Cutler walks to Casey, snatching the tape from him.

VANESSA  
Oh, so, you guys are, like, the  
producers? Explains the suits.

BLANK  
We're just the messengers.

Cutler inserts the tape into her machine.

CASEY  
Us, too--

CUTLER  
There's nothing on this tape.

CASEY  
But our message comes from Uncle  
Sam. You're under arrest.

Vanessa and Casey pull their guns. Blank reaches into his  
jacket with nearly invisible speed. He pulls out a pair of  
guns and shoots the guns from Vanessa's and Casey's hands.

BLANK  
I thought you looked two familiar.

CUTLER  
Hands up.

They comply. Cutler walks over with a pair of handcuffs.  
Casey holds his hands out and lets her put them on, but in a  
swift movement he puts his arms around Cutler, choking her  
with the handcuff chain. Blank tries to get a shot.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

Sarah stares at the screen, concern showing on her face.  
From across the room, Steve hooks up electrodes to Chuck's  
face, but Chuck watches Sarah.

CHUCK  
What's going on?

Sarah hits a button to play the audio: grunts and struggle.  
Chuck releases himself from Steve's equipment and goes to  
Sarah. When he sees the screen, his jaw drops.

SARAH  
What? Did you flash?

CHUCK  
No, but I know them. They were the  
ones in that car--that car...  
(he points to the car)  
At the hospital. The ones that came  
for Beckman... but just drove away.

Sarah twists her face in consideration.

EXT. EMPTY LOT - DAY

Vanessa makes a move toward Casey and Cutler, but Blank  
turns his guns on her, cocking them both. Vanessa freezes.  
Cutler elbows Casey in the gut. He keels over, inadvertently  
releasing Cutler. She grabs Casey's gun from the ground and  
points it at him, smiling wryly.

CUTLER  
Who are you with? CIA? NSA? DOD?

CASEY  
Doesn't matter, you'll never get  
the Intersect. I'll make sure of  
that personally.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

CHUCK  
I knew he secretly had a bro-crush  
on me. It's touching, really...

SARAH  
Why is he provoking them? And  
telling them he has knowledge of  
the Intersect...

EXT. EMPTY LOT - DAY

BLANK  
That's okay. The Intersect is just  
one means to an inevitable end.

CUTLER  
Torturing agents for intel is one  
of our favorite alternate routes.

Blank looks at Vanessa over his guns.

BLANK  
We're going to take him, but leave  
you so that you can pass on a few  
messages to whomever signs your  
pathetic little paycheck.

CUTLER  
Message one: you won't find him so  
don't bother looking.

CASEY  
Sure she will. All she has to do is  
follow the blood trail.

Casey winks at Vanessa then swiftly kicks his own gun out of  
Cutler's hands and toward Vanessa who deftly catches it. She  
pulls the trigger just once then hits the deck, but Blank  
doesn't fire. He's too busy laughing.

CLOSER ON: Casey. His left arm is bleeding.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

CHUCK  
Oh my God, she shot Casey.

EXT. EMPTY LOT - DAY

BLANK  
Nice shot, but pop quiz: when does  
shooting the hostage actually work?

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - DAY

CHUCK  
When you're Keanu Reeves?

EXT. EMPTY LOT - DAY

CUTLER  
When the hostage taker doesn't plan  
on killing him anyway.

Casey holds him arm as Cutler escorts him into the car.

BLANK  
Oh, I almost forgot. Message two:  
this war has only just begun.

Blank keeps his guns on Vanessa until he gets into the  
driver's seat. The car skids out of the parking lot.

FADE TO BLACK.

**END OF ACT III**


	5. Act IV

**ACT IV**

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

Chuck sits in front of a monitor with a pair of headphones,  
watching a series of images. Steve and Sarah speak with the  
General on a monitor across the room.

BECKMAN  
I've got two teams of agents out  
looking for Casey and Quinton.

SARAH  
Permission to participate in the  
recovery of Colonel Casey?

BECKMAN  
Permission denied.

SARAH  
But this is Casey we're talking  
about. He's my partner.

BECKMAN  
You've got another job to do.  
The General looks past them and focuses on Chuck.

BECKMAN  
How's the update coming?

STEVE  
I believe we've found a way for the  
Intersect to bypass all undesired  
command sequences.

BECKMAN  
He doesn't leave the lab until  
you're sure, understood?

Sarah and Steve nod. Beckman signs off. Behind them Chuck  
throws off the headgear and stands up quickly.

CHUCK  
Okay. Done. Let's go find Casey.  
Chuck starts walking toward them, but stumbles and falls to  
his knees. Sarah and Steve rush to him, but he stands.

STEVE  
We need to do some tests.

CHUCK  
(standing)  
There's no time. Casey--

SARAH  
Is off the grid. We have no way of  
tracking him, and Beckman said--

CHUCK  
Beckman-schmeckman. This is Casey.  
Sarah half-smiles at this.

STEVE  
You don't even have any discernible  
leads. There's no point risking--

A crash interrupts the conversation. Vanessa comes sailing  
out of portal entrance. Sarah steps up to her.

SARAH  
Hold it. I want an explanation.

VANESSA  
No time. We need to find Casey.

SARAH  
How? They already ditched all his  
communication and tracking gear.

INT. NERD HERDER - NIGHT

Sarah drives. Vanessa sits in the passenger seat, holding  
the GPS. Chuck sits in the back seat.

CHUCK  
GPS Bullets? Does Casey really need  
another excuse to shoot people?

SARAH  
What if the bullet passes through?

VANESSA  
The device is microscopic. It  
breaks off and activates upon the  
initial impact.

Sarah glances back at Chuck. They trade an impressed smile.

CHUCK  
Can I request a shoe phone?

VANESSA  
Turn left down this alley.

Sarah maneuvers the car between two tall buildings. They  
come out at a looming brick structure, several stories tall.  
The bricks are painted black, the windows darkened.

CHUCK  
Kinda... ominous, isn't it?

Sarah pulls into a nearby parking structure.

INT. HOLDING CELL - OMINOUS BUILDING - NIGHT

Casey sits in a completely white room, save a ring of red  
light that shines on his bruised and bleeding face. The  
wound on his arm is untreated and oozing.

Agent Cutler stands before him, next to a tray of knives,  
syringes and other tools of pain inducement.

CUTLER  
I hope you realize that physical  
pain is just the prelude.

Casey's woozy head bobs, but he glares up at her.

CASEY  
You're wasting your time. The  
Intersect is completely secure.

EXT. OMINOUS BUILDING - NIGHT

Sarah, Vanessa and Chuck stand together in front of the  
building dressed as Nerd Herd crew members.

SARAH  
If anything goes wrong, we call in  
Beckman's other two teams, agreed?

VANESSA  
Why are we not calling them now?

SARAH  
One of those teams was searching  
for Casey, but the other had orders  
to bring you in for questioning.

CHUCK  
Plus, Sarah and I sorta snuck out.  
If Beckman catches us, we'll  
totally be grounded for, what, at  
least two weeks. Maybe a month?

SARAH  
The minimum penalty for treason is  
five years in prison and a ten  
thousand dollar fine.

CHUCK  
Well, that's not so bad.

SARAH  
The maximum penalty is death.

CHUCK  
You know, maybe I should just wait  
in the car...

He starts to walk off, but Sarah grabs his arm to stop him.

SARAH  
That's not where we need you  
tonight, Chuck. Let's go.

Sarah heads for the building. Chuck and Vanessa follow.

INT. OMINOUS BUILDING - HOLDING CELL DOOR - NIGHT

Blank stands guard as Casey screams from inside. Erika  
Strauss and Logan Reed stand in front of Blank.

ERIKA  
Come on, please?

She bats her eyelashes.

BLANK  
Go away.

LOGAN  
This isn't cool, dude. We're  
agents, too. We want to see the  
prisoner. Let us in.

BLANK  
Please don't call me "dude."

ERIKA  
You know, we're the reason anyone  
even watches the Network.

Cutler exits the room to catch the tail end of the comment.

CUTLER  
It's not you. It's the subliminal  
messages so... run along; your  
broadcast starts in ten minutes.

INT. LOBBY - OMINOUS BUILDING - NIGHT

A very old security guard sits at a counter-style desk. He  
leans tilted back with his feet up, snoozing. Behind him, a  
wall of monitors displays a variety of random footage.  
Sarah, Chuck and Vanessa enter through the front glass  
doors. They walk up to the desk, Chuck in the lead.

CHUCK  
We're from the Nerd Herd. You  
called about a computer emergency?

The security guard doesn't move. Chuck tilts his head.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
You sure we have the right place  
because security seems a little...

He turns to face Sarah and Vanessa only to find them  
mesmerized by the wall of monitors.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
Lax around here. Or not. Hello?

He waves his hand in front of Sarah's face. He grabs one  
shoulder of each woman and shakes. They slowly snap out of  
it and look at Chuck then each other.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
Okay, ladies. No more TV for either  
of you tonight. Got it?

MONTAGE - "BANG BANG" BY IGGY POP

1. Cutler stands guard at the holding room door. Down the  
hall, Vanessa creeps up with her gun drawn, but a series of  
monitors on the hallway wall catch her attention. She stops  
moving and stares at the monitors.

2. Casey sits with his head on his chest and his eyes  
closed. Blank wheels in a monitor on a cart.

BLANK  
Television as a weapon. What do you  
think? Go on, you can tell me the  
truth. In a few minutes you won't  
have a choice.

Casey opens his eyes and glares up at Blank. Blank smirks.

BLANK (CONT'D)  
May I present... Sodium pentothal  
for the digital age.

3. Chuck and Sarah walk down a hallway together. More  
monitors line these walls. Each time Sarah turns for one,  
Chuck guides her away. They reach a janitorial closet.

4. Casey watches images flash on the monitor, his eyes glaze  
over. Blank squats in front of him, getting his face right  
next to Casey's ear while Casey stares at the monitor.

BLANK (CONT'D)  
Who do you work for?

5. Inside the janitorial closet, Chuck and Sarah stand in  
front of an open circuit breaker box. Chuck squints.

6. FLASH: Circuit breaker plans, electrical blueprints for  
the building, close up of three switches on the board.

7. Chuck flips a switch.

8. Vanessa stares at one of the hallway screens until the  
screen goes dark. She snaps out of her stupor.

9. Chuck flips a second switch.

10. In the holding room, the screen goes blank. With his  
head still close to Casey's face, Blank looks confused.  
Casey headbutts him, hard.

11. Vanessa runs down the hallway, surprising and jumping on  
top of Cutler. They roll around on the ground, fighting  
school yard style.

12. Blank falls flat on his back, knocked out.

13. Vanessa sits on Cutler, punching her in the face. Cutler  
struggles, but quickly passes out.

14. At Buy More, Lester and Jeff still watch television.  
Logan Reed and Erika Strauss broadcast from the news desk.

15. Chuck flips the last switch.

16. In the studio, the lights stay on, but the filming  
equipment turns off. The crew look around. Erika Strauss and  
Logan Reed rise from their seats.

17. At Buy More, Lester and Jeff stare at a wall of static  
then look at one another, more dazed than usual.

END OF MONTAGE

INT. HALLWAY - OMINOUS BUILDING - NIGHT

Casey and Vanessa run from one direction, Sarah and Chuck  
from another. They reach each other, stopping in front of a  
large set of double doors underneath an unlit "on air" sign.

CASEY  
(nodding to Chuck)  
What the hell is he doing here?

SARAH  
I tried to keep him away, but he  
insisted on saving your life.

CHUCK  
You guys know how I love a little  
bit of witty banter, but I think  
right now we better focus on--

The studio doors open. Erika Strauss and Logan Reed lead the  
rest of the crew (ten brawny prisoner types) through the  
doorway. They circle around Chuck, Sarah, Casey and Vanessa.  
Chuck looks around, spotting the same tattoo on each arm.

FLASH: The abstract tattoo, a list of names, pictures of the  
crew members, a long list of felony offenses.

Chuck blinks, his eyes wide.

CHUCK  
Good grief, where'd you find all  
these guys? Buy one, get ten free  
sale at Lackeys-R-Us?

Erika and Logan glance at each other.

ERIKA  
Did he just flash?

Sarah glances at Chuck, but Vanessa uses the distraction to  
pull out Casey's gun. Casey spots it immediately. Vanessa  
tosses it to him. He turns to aim at Logan Reed and Erika  
Strauss, but they've stepped back behind the other men.

The henchman come at the group, fighting hard and dirty.  
Sarah pushes Chuck aside and takes a punch to the face  
because of it. Casey steps in and punches out her attacker.

CASEY  
Maybe you should keep the  
hand-to-hand combat to a minimum,  
Walker, considering your condition.

Sarah and Casey each duck a swing.

SARAH  
What are you talking about?

In tandem, Sarah and Casey punch the same henchman. In the  
background, Vanessa fights. Chuck watches the brawl.

FLASH: Street fight ring, a flutter of moves and hard hits,  
weapons: brass knuckles, bats, boards, "no holds barred."

Chuck rips a monitor off the wall and swings it at a guy  
poised to hit Casey. The guy drops. Chuck swings the monitor  
around, hitting each man in just the right spot.

CASEY  
Now that's an appropriate use of  
television as a weapon.

With everyone working together, the baddies pile up until  
all are unconscious. Sarah looks around.

SARAH  
The anchors are gone.

INT. STUDIO - NIGHT

Chuck, Vanessa, Casey and Sarah walk into the studio. The  
monitors behind the news desk kick on, playing an array  
footage. Chuck looks from monitor to monitor.

CHUCK  
You guys might want to...

Chuck glazes over then turns to the other three.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
I have to kill you now.

Chuck walks toward them; they back up.

SARAH  
So much for free will.

Casey leans to Sarah, speaking out the side of his mouth.

CASEY  
I can't believe I'm about to say  
this, but... you need to kiss him.

Sarah arches an eyebrow then grabs Chuck by the collar. She  
pulls him in, but he resists. He looks her in the eye.

CHUCK  
(whispered)  
Don't freak out.

She narrows her eyes before Chuck pushes her into Vanessa.  
They both fall over. Vanessa starts to get up, but Sarah  
holds her down and pretends to pass out. Vanessa follows.

Casey uses his good arm to pull his gun on Chuck. Casey  
looks into Chuck's eyes long enough to catch... a wink.  
Casey nods slightly. Chuck reaches out and chops Casey's  
arm, causing Casey to drop the gun.

Chuck picks up the gun and shoots to the right of Casey,  
grazing his shoulder. Casey groans and glares at Chuck who  
mouths "sorry." Casey falls over dramatically, playing dead.

ERIKA (O.S.)  
Well done, Intersect.

LOGAN (O.S.)  
Now, come with us

Erika and Logan walk up to Chuck. Chuck glances down at the  
gun in his hand.

FLASH: A diagram of the gun, a shooting range, a perfectly  
shot dummy target, a shooting stance diagram.

BACK TO SCENE

CHUCK  
Yeah, I'm gonna have to pass.  
And... sorry in advance for this.

Chuck aims and shoots both Logan and Erika in their legs.  
They both scream and buckle over, but when they see the  
others start to get up, they run out with their legs  
dragging. Chuck watches, swallowing nervously.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
They'll be okay, right?

CASEY  
Who cares?

SARAH  
Chuck, wow. Luring them out like  
that was so smart.

CHUCK  
Extra, extra. Read all about it.  
Asset surprises handler by doing  
something right. First time ever.

SARAH  
No, not the first time. Not even  
close.

Sarah smiles at Chuck. Casey clears his throat.

CASEY  
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to  
catch the last two bad guys.

VANESSA  
I'll go with you. We can use my  
tracking device to--

CASEY  
Pretty sure we can catch these guys  
the old-fashioned way.

He grins and nods to... a trail of blood. Casey and Vanessa  
take off, following the trail out the studio doors.

SARAH  
Was it hard to make that choice?

CHUCK  
Yeah, but I figured there would  
always be the opportunity for a  
cover kiss later...

Sarah chuckles.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
No, you know. It actually wasn't  
difficult at all. Even though the  
Intersect was telling me there was  
only one choice, my brain jumped in  
and showed me that there's always  
other options. The choice is mine.

Sarah stares at him for a long beat.

FADE TO BLACK.

**END OF ACT IV**


	6. Tag

**TAG **

INT. BUY MORE - NIGHT

Lester and Jeff sit at the Nerd Herd desk. Casey walks up to  
the desk, dressed in his Buy More uniform and wearing a  
sling on his left arm and a bandage on his right arm.

LESTER  
Hello, John.

JEFF  
Where ya been?

CASEY  
What do you mean, where have I  
been? I've been out getting this.

Casey pulls out his cell phone and hands it to Lester.  
CLOSE ON: the phone. On the screen, an awkward close up  
picture of Casey and Erika Strauss. She looks pissed.

LESTER  
Oh, her.  
Lester shows Jeff.

JEFF  
The News Ring Network is overrated.  
We don't even watch it anymore.  
Erika Strauss is yesterday's news.

LESTER  
But, hey, you know, good for you,  
John. I mean, you were supposed to  
bring her here, but the cell phone  
pic is cool, too. Looks like  
security gave you a beating, huh?

Casey growls at their lack of enthusiasm. He snatches his  
phone from Lester and stomps off to the home theater room.

INT. HOME THEATER ROOM - NIGHT

Vanessa sits on the couch. Casey enters and closes the  
blinds. After a second, Beckman pops up. Vanessa rises.

BECKMAN  
Quite the catch tonight, you two.

Casey nods once to acknowledge her words.

BECKMAN (CONT'D)  
While Chuck's abilities intrigue  
me, this makes me think maybe the  
Intersect isn't as integral to this  
operation as I've always assumed.

Casey clears his throat and exchanges a look with Vanessa.

CASEY  
Actually, Chuck was...

Vanessa looks at Casey curiously.

CASEY (CONT'D)  
In my ear every step of the way  
tonight. Quite the valuable asset,  
that kid. In fact, with a little  
more work, I think we could make  
him into one hell of an agent.

BECKMAN  
Yes, well, in that case, he can  
retain the "agent in training"  
title he created for himself. Dr.  
Bartowski reports that the recent  
Intersect malfunction has been  
completely resolved.

VANESSA  
His fix was brilliant. He--

Beckman disappears. Vanessa's face falls. Casey plops down  
on the couch, rubbing his slinged arm.

CASEY  
So, this microchip... am I on the  
grid forever now?

VANESSA  
Just your own... and mine.

Vanessa sits down next to him.

CASEY  
Got a lotta agents on your grid?  
Vanessa laughs.

VANESSA  
Just you at the moment.

CASEY  
Hm.

Vanessa smiles to herself. Casey focuses on his arm.

INT. BATHROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Chuck stands alone in front of the mirror, dressed in a nice  
button-up and a dark pair of jeans.

CHUCK  
So, you know, Sarah, if you've got  
a boyfriend, that's totally cool.

JUMP CUT:

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
I'm not saying you shouldn't have a  
real boyfriend, but aren't late  
night booty calls a tad... skanky?

JUMP CUT:

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
If it doesn't work out with him...  
you and I could always...

A knock startles Chuck. He grabs his heart.

SARAH (O.S.)  
Chuck? Morgan's here.

INT. HALLWAY - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Sarah stands in the hallway in a beautiful blue dress. Her  
hair and make-up add to her stunning appearance.

CHUCK  
Wow. You look...

SARAH  
Make it quick with Morgan. We need  
to get going to Ellie's, okay?

Chuck nods, but glances down at her dress again.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHUCK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Morgan sits on the couch. Chuck and Sarah walk out.

CHUCK  
Hey, Morgan. Sarah and I are about  
to head over to Ellie's so--

MORGAN  
Last night was really weird.

Chuck trades a look with Sarah.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
I had this dream. There was a lot  
of strange stuff in it, but the  
main thing was that I was sitting  
here watching TV--that stupid News  
Ring Network--with you... then you  
got up to leave. I tried to stop  
you, but no matter how hard I  
fought, you just kept going.

CHUCK  
Mmm. Yeah, that is weird. Thanks  
for slowing me down, though, buddy.

Sarah nods guiltily.

MORGAN  
That's my point exactly, dude.

Morgan stands up and goes to Chuck.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
It's symbolic. You were trying to  
live your life--your real adult  
life--with your beautiful girl...

Morgan smiles at Sarah. She returns the smile uncertainly.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
And I was holding you back.

CHUCK  
Oh... that's--

MORGAN  
I'm not gonna hold you back  
anymore. I'm gonna join you.

Chuck narrows his eyes.

MORGAN (CONT'D)  
I'm gonna get my own apartment!

CHUCK  
Hey, that's great, buddy.

MORGAN  
Don't know how I'll afford it...

SARAH  
Oh. You can have my old place.

Chuck and Morgan look at her.

SARAH (CONT'D)  
I own it. That's how I ended up in  
L.A. My uncle died and left me his  
condo. It's small, but I'm sure we  
can work out a reasonable rate.

MORGAN  
Oh my God, I love you.  
(to Chuck)  
I love her.

CHUCK  
Yeah, I know the feeling.

Chuck turns red and avoids the look Sarah gives him.

EXT. APARTMENT COURTYARD - NIGHT

Chuck and Sarah walk toward the exit.

CHUCK  
You didn't have to do that.

SARAH  
If Morgan hadn't tried to stop you  
last night, you might not be here  
now. I owe him one.

CHUCK  
I don't know. If I wasn't around,  
it'd be a lot easier to take care  
of your personal... stuff.

Sarah rolls her eyes.

SARAH  
You know, Chuck, I think tonight  
you're going to find out that my  
"personal stuff" and my "cover  
stuff" aren't as mutually exclusive  
as they probably should be.

Chuck tilts his head.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. WOODCOMB DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Sarah and Chuck sit on one side of the table. Ellie and  
Devon sit on the other. The remnants of a meal lay on the  
table in front of them.

SARAH  
So, Ellie, Chuck was curious about  
where I was last night...

Chuck's eyes widen.

CHUCK  
What? What are you doing?

ELLIE  
Well, Sarah, I think you should  
tell him the whole story.

CHUCK  
Oh, that's not... you don't really  
need to tell me now, do you?

Chuck nods toward Devon and Ellie. Sarah smiles.

SARAH  
First, I went to a drugstore to  
pick up a... pregnancy test.

Devon arches an eyebrow. Chuck chokes on air, gasping  
desperately to regain his breath.

CHUCK  
(between gasps)  
That was the personal business?  
That's the big secret? You're...  
having a baby? Who... who's the father?

Ellie laughs loudly. Devon's smile is amused.

ELLIE  
Calm down, Chuck. Sarah's not  
pregnant. Though, if she were, I  
don't really think the paternity  
would be question, do you?

CHUCK  
No... No. I don't. That was... that  
was just a joke. Ha, ha, ha...

Chuck leans back against his chair.

DEVON  
So, I'm confused. The test results  
were negative?

SARAH  
No. They were positive, but...

Sarah looks to Ellie.

ELLIE  
The test wasn't for Sarah.

Realization dawns on Chuck's face. He grins and looks to  
Devon who is a little slower on the uptake.

DEVON  
Who was it for?

They all look at Devon, their smiles growing until if  
finally hits him. His jaw drops.

DEVON (CONT'D)  
Ellie?

ELLIE  
We're having a baby!

She smiles expectantly. Devon blinks a few times. Chuck and  
Sarah trade a nervous smile then look back at Devon.

DEVON  
(genuine)  
That is... Awesome!

Devon scoops Ellie into a hug.

EXT. WOODCOMB RESIDENCE - NIGHT

Chuck and Sarah walk out the front door. Ellie escorts them.  
Chuck pauses to give Ellie a big, long hug.

CHUCK  
El, I'm so happy for you.

ELLIE  
Thanks... Uncle Chuck.

CHUCK  
Oh, yeah, wow. Uncle... Chuck.

ELLIE  
Special thanks to you, Aunt Sarah.

SARAH  
It was absolutely no problem.

Chuck laughs at the irony. Ellie and Sarah share a smile,  
but when Sarah turns away, her face falls. Chuck notices.

CHUCK  
Night, Sis.

Chuck gives Ellie a quick peck before she closes the door.  
Chuck hurries to catch up with Sarah, falling in step.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
Big news, huh?

Sarah nods.

CHUCK (CONT'D)  
You want to hear something  
hilarious? I thought you didn't  
want to tell me where you were last  
night was because you snuck out to  
meet a guy. You know, like... a  
real boyfriend.

SARAH  
(flat)  
Sadly, my cover life is far more  
active than my real life in that--  
and nearly every other--department.

As they reach the car, Sarah hesitates at the door.

CHUCK  
You okay?

SARAH  
Yeah.

He raises his eyebrows to her back.

SARAH (CONT'D)  
No.

CHUCK  
What's up?

Sarah turns to him, her expression pained.

SARAH  
I'll never be "Aunt Sarah."

Chuck looks at her for a beat. He smiles.

CHUCK  
Devon has brothers. Marry one of  
'em and... you'll be in.

Sarah laughs sadly.

SARAH  
I'd definitely take my chances on  
you over one of the Awesome Bros.

Chuck's smile is surprised. Sarah looks down. A beat.

CHUCK  
You know, considering all the junk  
I've got implanted in my head, I'm  
guessing you're pretty much stuck  
with the Bartowskis for life so,  
even if it is just a cover, the  
title of "Aunt Sarah" is all yours.

SARAH  
One day, you'll meet a real girl,  
Chuck, and I'll just... fade into  
the background.

Chuck watches Sarah open the car door and put a foot in.

CHUCK  
Sarah, the more I get to know you,  
the more I think I'd rather have a  
cover you than a real anybody else.

Facing away from Chuck, Sarah closes her eyes. She takes a  
deep breath.

SARAH  
That'll fade some day, too.

Sarah climbs in the car and closes the door.

CHUCK  
No. I think being in love with you  
is something that's gonna stick...

Chuck sighs and walks around to the other side of the car.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB - NIGHT

Steve watches the driveway on the surveillance monitor.

STEVE  
She can't shake it either, Son.  
Now, if only we could find a way to  
get her to tell you that.

Steve sighs and switches to a different shot: Ellie and  
Devon's living room. They sit together on the couch, cozily  
wrapped in an embrace. Steve watches with a bittersweet  
smile on his lips.

EXT. WOODCOMB RESIDENCE - NIGHT

Sarah's car backs out of the driveway.

FADE TO BLACK.

**END OF EPISODE**


End file.
